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Stein, Gertrude, 1874-1946

"More Toasts"

Finally the errand boy hustled in and the merchant called
him, asking if he was able to produce the desired article. Jimmy
handed over his "pigsticker."
"How is it, Jimmy, that you alone out of my entire staff seem to have
a pocketknife with you?" smiled the proprietor, eyeing Jimmy with
undisguised admiration.
"Dunno, sir," replied the youth, "unless it's because my wages are so
low that I can't afford more'n one pair of pants."

FIRST LABORING MAN--"Wot's a minimum wage, Albert?"
SECOND DITTO--"Wot yer gets for goin' to yer work. If yer wants ter
make a bit more yer does a bit o' work for it."_--Punch_.

The workman was busily employed by the roadside, and the wayfarer
paused to inquire, "What are you digging for?" The workman looked up.
"Money,"' he replied.
"Money! And when do you expect to strike it, my good man?"
"On Saturday!" replied the other, and resumed operations.


WAR

Some nations were fighting fiercely.
"Why are you fighting so?" inquired the bystanders, moved at length to
curiosity.
"To save civilization!" replied the nations severally.
Here a draggled figure rose from the mire under the feet of the
combatants and limped lamely away.


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